Sorry I’ve been Absent!

Hey everyone! Sorry that I haven’t posted in a bit, I have been helping a very dear friend work through the death of her mother. Her mother passed a week or so ago, she was very sick. We went on vacation and as soon as we got home, it was a whirlwind of craziness. Her mum got set up with hospice Monday, they delivered the special equipment Wed morning and she had passed by 4:30pm. She went peacefully, she was comfortable, but there is really no comfort in any of this.

It is also strange, because it seems like no one knows that to say. I could be crazy, but it is a very uncomfortable exchange anytime anyone tries to lend their condolences. In the chilling light of death, we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t put things into perspective. She was a kind and gentle spirit with never a wicked word for anyone. I was helping her go through her mom’s worldly belongings, she was a bit of a pack rat! lol However, it seems like everything she saved was a piece of a puzzle–sifting through and putting it together, she left a very vulnerable and delicate picture of who she really was. She was terribly sad and lonely, but incapable of showing it. She wished for help with her loneliness but didn’t deem herself worthy enough to ask for help. There were pictures and Thank You cards from several people that she touched, but she didn’t see herself as good enough. It is so bizarre to be organizing and disposing of her things, what to save? What is worth keeping? What are the few tangible things that can sort of replace a whole person?

I guess what I took from this is that you can be the most positive and pleasant person on the planet, but you can also be a terrific faker. If you’re sad on the inside–please don’t paint a happy face, it can keep people out. Alienation will occur only because you’re not being genuine. Test your family and friends by telling them that you need help–you could be surprised at the outpouring of support and kindness that you will receive. It is too late for my friend’s family to close the gap between their mother and themselves. Please don’t say goodbye to your loved ones before you actually know them. Even if you “think” you know them.




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